I Gave Up A Lot for My Financial Independence Lifestyle…But This One Thing Really Hurt!

Deprivation For The Goal of World Travel

Seeking Financial Independence is often associated with a lifestyle of deprivation and misery.

It’s not entirely untrue.

If you choose to seek Financial Independence, especially at an accelerated rate, you are going to have to make sacrifices.

The F.I.R.E (Financial Independence Retire Early) movement often draws people seeking the speediest way to F.I. – and often do so by extreme means.

The stereotype of a F.I.R.E devotee conjures images of a lonely spreadsheet nerd, eating Ramen noodles on their thrift store couch in a shabby apartment they share with five roommates – only focused on shoveling 50% or more of their income into an investment account.

Some may say, that’s too extreme. But, sacrificing for the sake of a mission can make it more palatable!

About ten years ago, I found myself pretty unsatisfied with my life, career, and longing for a life of travel. Being naturally frugal, I was drawn to the F.I.R.E. community, and was indeed okay with having less, for the sake of my mission – traveling to my heart’s content!

But ultimately, there was one thing I sacrificed for my dream of becoming financially independent and traveling the world that really hurt!

It may surprise you. The thing I gave up for my financially independent, full-time travel lifestyle that hurt the most was – my hair color!

Here’s my experience with going gray and sacrificing until it hurts.

Birth of a Dream

When I started dreaming about being able to leave my job, for a life of travel around the world, it seemed impossible.

But slowly, the more I researched, crunched numbers in spreadsheets, (yes I am that nerd), and saw examples of people actually doing it – I began to believe I might not have to die, slumped over at my desk, never having achieved my dream.

Books like Vicki Robbin’s Your Money or Your Life and JL Collin’s The Simple Path to Wealth inspired me. I started saving and investing.

I was fine living in a small home, as I hate cleaning a big house! Fancy cars hold no allure for me. I am happy to cook my own meals — where I always get exactly what I ordered!

Sure, there were many things that I had to say no to, that caused momentary pain. Like passing up the really cute green shoes, that I didn’t need. And eating the same boring packed lunch every day wasn’t always exactly fun.

But overall, I never felt particularly deprived.I was happy to embrace a minimalist lifestyle. Especially if it could help me achieve my dream of escaping the cubicle!

And work meetings with blow-hard idiots really helped to propel me on my journey! As did the amazing trips I still treated myself to every year – as they further whet my appetite for travel.

The Plan

Fast forward several years, and my Financial Independence goal number was in sight! Through house-hacking, investing, and a plan to leverage geoarbitrage, my sacrifices and planning appeared to be about to pay-off!

I was set to sell all my belongings, and take off around the world!

The realities of this plan started to set in. I would have to let go of all my stuff! My few, but precious things! The tangible outward demonstrations of my taste, style, sense of humor – basically, my whole identity!

“Those are just things, it will be fine!” I told myself.

Then I looked in the mirror and realized one very impractical thing that would best be left behind, as well. I swallowed hard as the scary thought blew through my mind.

My hair color!?! I must let it go.

Fade to Gray

I get it from my mom’s side of the family – premature graying.

My grandfather had a gorgeous head of thick silver hair by the time he graduated, a member of the mounted calvary, from Texas A&M University. He looked so handsome in his uniform – even though, the picture is black and white, you can clearly tell his hair has lost all pigment.

Me, I had a noticeable amount of gray in college, started dying then – and had done so ever since!

Of course, being frugal, I learned to dye it myself. There was no way I was going to spend hundreds of dollars in a salon with such regularity as was required to conceal my family legacy.

But you can’t travel with the giant bottles of toner, dye and tools required for bi-weekly root touch-ups!

“I could just find and buy the stuff when I need it, where ever I am. Or splurge and get it done!” I told myself.

Then, I envisioned spending time in all the magical places I was planning to visit. Did I want to be running around trying to find hair dye or a salon? I imagined in inevitable disaster of managing hair color with cultural and language barriers.

I could anger a stylist and end up bald. Or accidentally use shoe polish, wood stain, or some other fun toxic substance.

And it would still cost money. My tight post-work budget could always use trimming.

I had to face it, it was not practical to continue to dye my hair in the new life I was building.

Alas – I stared into the mirror, and decided it was time to go gray.

Truth Hurts

I would love to tell you that I found it soooooo liberating! But as my eye-catching shade of strawberry blond, that I had convinced myself was close to my “natural” hair color, faded to gray, I felt as if I was becoming invisible.

Like the photograph in Back To The Future, where Michael J Fox’ siblings are slowly disappearing. That was me – I was becoming a ghost.

Whereas I used to be a fiery red head, I was suddenly an old lady who no longer turned heads.

I tried wearing more make-up. Some bright lip gloss makes everything better, right?! But I still felt washed out.

Of course, there are people that say, “oh I love your hair!” But I don’t believe them. New acquaintances inquire about my age, and are often surprised that I’m not as old as they thought I was. And I know its because the first thing they noticed was the silver mop on my head.

Truth is, having gray hair makes you look old. And looking old, especially – in my humble opinion – as a woman, kinda sucks.

The Consolation

Having embarked on my travels a year and a half ago, I can say it is, indeed, easier to travel and not be worried about hair dye. I don’t waste precious time in foreign places on maintaining an illusion. So, there has been time and money saved.

And I’m still the same actual age – not old! Rather, I’m still a fun, vibrant and active forty-something – no matter if I have hair or not! I’ve learned that other people’s perceptions are neither within my control or of much consequence to me.

I’ve had to find my identity, without stuff like a job title, personal belongings, or hair color to hide behind.

Also, now I fit in at the family re-union! Walking into a sea of prematurely gray headed relatives, I can let out a deep sigh and say, “ah…..my people!”, feeling right at home.

Semi-Permanent or Permanent?

Any day, I could pick up the bottle again! I have found that there is, indeed, hair dye readily available in many other countries. And the language of “hair” seems to be pretty universal! With some pictures and hand gestures, its pretty easy to convey your intent….”make me look pretty, please!”

For now, I’m going to continue the experiment of embracing my genetics, for better and for worse. I don’t currently feel that adding the cost and complexity of maintaining hair color is worth it.

Overall, I’m proud of myself for doing something scary. It has been a learning experience, for sure. And saving time and money always feels good.

But I reserve the right to change my mind at any moment! And who knows, maybe the next color I dye my hair will be – BLUE!

How About You?

What is the scariest thing you could imagine having to give up in order to make your dreams a reality? Have you given up something and then determined it wasn’t worth it? If it means living your dream, are you willing to give it a try?

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